That's Not Love

            Built up dependency is really why relationships become so unhealthy. Through out a relationship, little by little you are unconsciously building up a mountain of dependence on your significant other. Humans are creatures of habit.  That being said, More often than not, in relationships these days, dealing with other your significant other has become more of a habit than something you love to do. As time goes by you are becoming accustomed and dependent on always having the other person there, more than you are actually falling in love with the person. The dependency has become so intense that rather than cutting this person who is no good for you off, you stay put because your dependency has built up so high that at this point, being without the person, though they're causing you pain, is not a viable option. Like smoking, even though you know this relationship is no good for you, you have built up a dependency on it, and through your dependency you have become addicted to it.

And when things end?

              You feel so empty when it's over. You are so used to that person’s presence in your life, that when it abruptly ends, a gaping hole that is usually filled with dealing with him/her is left empty. This is when the overwhelming, unfamiliar feeling of loneliness inevitably sets in and fills that void. And the severity of this unfamiliarity leads to disparity and one big moment of false clarity. That moment when you say:

"I love him/her, and I need him/her back."

But that's the problem.

That's not love.

              You've just become overly dependent. You've been with each other so long, talking everyday for ridiculous stretches of time, that when the relationship ends, you genuinely forgot how to be by yourself, so u foolishly run back into the relationship has driven you to the low you have found yourself in, and that's not love.

             You have to really take a step back and look at the bigger picture. You have to know the difference of being in love, and being dependent. You have to know the difference between missing someone's missing someone's presence, and missing someone’s vibe. A craving for presence can be physically satisfied by anyone, but a vibe is something that can't be duplicated. It's a genuine feeling you get when you’re chilling with, or even when you just see your significant other. Real love goes beyond any physical fixation that you've built up in a relationship. It goes past any touch you've gotten used to and any scent of perfume or cologne that you've come to love. Don't be fooled by the dependencies you've built up in your relationship.

           Remember that at this point in life, you've never put in too much time with a person to stop you from being able to walk away, learn from the experience, and start a new somewhere else. Realize that you've been happy before this person, and you will undoubtedly be happy after them. Like smoking, bad relationships can be a deadly addiction. But no habit, no matter how it's built up in your mental, is ever too intense to break with real motivation and self-actualization.

SIMBA SAYS:

            Love does not find everyone as easily as it found Nala and I. Yes, we did have some issues, but she always pushed to make me a better lion. Make sure your partner does the same for you. If they are making you no better, than they are no good. If you take nothing from this post take this:

Fear of being lonely is never an excuse to settle.

Don’t sell yourself short.
Realize your potential.
Seek progression.
Embrace unfamiliarity.
Fear only mediocrity.